Some might say I have never held a real job and who am I to argue? My list of previous jobs doesn't include any I found worthwhile or held for any substantial amount of time as to classify them as "real jobs."
You know, "real jobs."
The kind where you earn promotions , raises, and work at for more than a year. Where maybe you take a briefcase and have a cup of coffee before you finish some big project before a deadline. No, not for me. I have definitely never had a "real job" in this sense. My foray into the world of employment began in 2003 at a little ice cream shop called Cold Stone Creamery. It was here that I earned my first paycheck, wore my first apron, and learned quite a few obnoxious ditties. Ditties, such as the go-to-tip-in-jar-jam...
"Thank you for your dollar. Listen to us holler....da...da...da...da...Thank you."
Then there was Joe's Crab Shack where I was repeatedly told by old creepy men that they had personally "had crabs once, if you know what I mean?" These jobs were followed by short stints as a customer service representative for a video game retailer, a sales associate for a department store as well as a bridal apparel store, and a receptionist gig at a psychologist's office. But since I became pregnant with my daughter in the summer of 2006 I have not held one steady job yet. I have worked sporadically as a substitute teacher but not enough to even come close to being considered a regular job. Despite not having held a real job for the past four years, I have not been sitting on my haunches either.
What have I been doing, you may ask.
Well, I have been getting married, having babies and busting my butt so that in May of 2009, while pregnant with my son I finally graduated with a B.A in history.
Yeah, I know what you are thinking. History?
Yes, history.
Don't ask me what I thought I would do with this pretty piece of paper. Maybe, I would teach. Maybe I would change the world... and I tried to. I enrolled in a professional development program to earn my teaching licensure in the state of Nevada but then my husband lost his job and the program was conveniently cut. The unfortunate cutting of this program has seemingly ended my hopes to fulfill my supposed calling to the classroom and has lead to an identity crisis of sorts.
What do you do when what you thought you were meant to is no longer an option?
First, I looked towards the heavens and asked,
"Hey there, Mr. God, I thought this is where I was supposed to be???" No reply.
Which way was I supposed to go? Was this a fork in the road or was I standing in the middle of some huge super highway spaghetti bowl? Direction. I was and am in desperate need of direction. With my husband indefinitely out of work, a family in need of financial support, and a selfishly impatient desire to contribute something to the world I decided to take a careers test. The kind of test you take your junior year of high school in hopes of discovering the answer to that ultimate question, "what was I put on this earth to do?" Or at least, "what should I major in once I get to college?" What would my results be? Would the test uncover my stealthy crime solving capabilities leading me into a career as a rebellious yet emotionally needy rookie police officer who works undercover to bust illicit drug dealing rings and winds up with a habit of her own. OR even better would the test tell me that I was meant for fame and fortune as business entrepreneur who seizes upon just the right opportunity at the right time by financing the next big infomercial product, OxySnuggieMagicPilates. OR WORSE, would my fears of the mediocre and mundane be confirmed with the test guaranteeing that my life would be best spent behind a desk between the walls of a cubicle staring at a computer screen reassuring some cranky customer that their service problems would be resolved in 2-3 business days.
In the end the test told me none of these things. It told me what ever other person and careers test I have ever taken has told me.
Designer, Teacher, Artist, Writer, Entertainer, take your pick.
In a weird way I know that I am all of those things regardless of what career I choose. I design great birthday parties and Halloween costumes for my kids. I teach my daughter songs to sing. I write to express myself and lighten the load of crazy thoughts I have running around in my head all day. I entertain my kids with silly dances and stories. Ultimately, the test also told me that a test can't give me direction anymore than a Magic 8 Ball can. (Though I am sure there are some people out there who would take the Magic 8 Ball's word.) Something still feels like it is missing, so here I am still praying for direction, asking God for a push in the right way to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment